The Negative Spiral and the Positive Catalyst

Hello, My Friends!

It's been a long time since I last wrote.  I hope that April is finding you happy and enjoying spring with all its rain, sun, wind, and sometimes snow...sometimes all in one day!

I would like to write about what I call the "negative spiral" and ways that I have found to flip that negative spiral around.

Negative begets negative begets negative begets negative...until we feel that we are drowning in a never-ending pessimistic spiral.  D&C 6:33 reminds us: "Whatsoever ye sow, that shall ye also reap."  Are we planting seeds of contention, anger, frustration, worry, anxiety, etc.?  If so, that is what we will reap.

One area that I'm often overcome by this negative spiral is in my parenting.  Sometimes, I feel like I'm drowning!  I snap over little things ("WHY would you throw your wrapper on the floor???"). When I finally recognize what is going on, I then get to work to flip the situation.

What is needed is what I call a "POSITIVE CATALYST."  An inciting incident that will change the direction of the spiral. You can't change a negative situation by adding negativity.  It just doesn't work.  It goes against the laws of life!

For example, sometimes I find myself so frustrated with a certain child of mine.   I'm sad to say that I yell at her, take away privileges, take away more privileges because she didn't seem to respond to the first round, and on and on.  She yells; she gets more angry; she has more destructive behavior. Until...

I stop.

I pray.

I let go of the anger and frustration (with the help of the prayer).

I try to think of an appropriate positive catalyst for the situation.  Often, it's taking time to listen and observe what is really going on with the child.  It's asking God how He would have me handle the situation.  I might spend positive time with the child.  Sometimes it's a hug.  Sometimes it's watching a show while snuggling.  Sometimes it's participating in an activity that the child enjoys.  It involves focusing on ALL the positive things she does instead of the few things that she does wrong.    

It always melts my heart when I realize that my child needs ME.  She didn't need the isolation that was caused by my anger.  She needed a hug.  She needed love.  This in no way means that we don't discipline our children, or we don't follow through with consequences.  It means that we don't discipline out of anger or negativity, but out of love and a desire to teach correct principles. We discipline by the Spirit.

Imagine what a positive catalyst would look like in different situations.  Marriage problems, work issues, conflict in friendships, negative self-talk, a calling you struggle to fulfill...  Repentance is often needed.  It is definitely a positive catalyst.  Sincere prayer, scripture study, acts of service, positive affirmations, doing something you enjoy just because you enjoy it...all of these are positive catalysts.  Let the Spirit guide you as you strive to flip the spiral to one of positivity and optimism.

As you flip the spiral, positive will beget positive.  You will have room for solutions, peace, and joy.

D&C 6:33-36

33 Fear not to do good, my sons, for whatsoever ye sow, that shall ye also reap; therefore, if ye sow good ye shall also reap good for your reward.

34 Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail.

35 Behold, I do not condemn you; go your ways and sin no more; perform with soberness the work which I have commanded you.

36 Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.

Much LOVE!

Heather