The 3 C's to Avoid to Gain Greater Happiness

I was taught a timely lesson as a first year teacher, and I have never forgotten it.  I learned in an institute class to avoid three "C's."  Here they are!
Avoid
1. Comparing
2. Criticizing
3. Complaining

Found Here 

These three C's seem to show up at the darndest times, just when I think I have learned my lessons concerning them.  When they are present, joy and gratitude are not.  They make you question your worth and the worth of others.  It's best to try the Three C Elimination Diet!

Let's look at each culprit individually.

1.  Comparison

The ugly green-headed Comparison, who happens to be cousins with the green monster ~ Envy.  You'll usually find these two together.  They are quite the inseparable pair.  There is no room in a joyful life for these two. 

When we compare ourselves with others, we often focus on their strengths and somehow discount our own.  We focus on what they have that we don't.  We lose gratitude for what we already have and the strengths that we already possess somehow believing that we are lacking, flawed, missing out, or not enough.

On the flip side, you meet Comparison's other cousin, Pride.  When we start thinking we are better than others or that we have more than others and this becomes more important than others, we are on a very slippery slope indeed.

Heavenly Father did not send us to Earth to COMPETE with each other, He sent us to COMPLEMENT each other.  We all have different strengths and weaknesses that are individualized for our life path.  We were sent for different purposes.  Our gifts complement each other and can benefit all.  (By the way, if you are interested, you should look up the definitions of "complement" and "compliment" and notice the difference.)  We each have individual blessings and trials tailored to our learning and growth, and to help us become more like our Heavenly Father.  Of course these blessings and trials are going to look differently, because they are individualized!  We are each on a different path, so comparing what you've packed to go on a trip to the Arctic with things that someone else has packed to go to Arizona seems pretty silly, right?

Found Here 

2. Criticism  

To put it simply, if the choice is between criticism and kindness, always. choose. kindness.  You will find what you are looking for in life and in people, places, situations, etc.  If you choose to look for the bad, to blame, and find fault, it will be more than easy to do so.  But, if you choose to find the good, the positive, and things to be grateful for, you will also find it.  Guess which one leads to greater happiness?

There are enough harsh, unrighteous judgments (different than righteous judgment) out there.  There is enough negativity.  There is too much that tears individuals down, and not enough that builds them up.

Choose  to lift up, to show mercy, kindness, patience, long-suffering, support, friendship, LOVE.  Guess who has these attributes?  

Personal criticism is not good for the criticizer or the one being criticized.  It usually does not bring about positive change.  So, it's time to stop the negative criticism, the kind that does not come from the Spirit.

President Hinckley, known for his optimism, said, "Criticism, faultfinding, evil speaking-these are the sentiments of our day.... Everywhere is heard the insulting remark, the sarcastic comment, the verbal attack against the reputations of others. Sadly, these are too often the bases of our conversation. In our homes, wives cry and children break down emotionally under critical attacks from husbands and fathers. Criticism is the seed of divorce, and it  develops rebellion in our young. Sometimes it leads even to the destruction of individual  self-worth...

I am asking that we stop seeking out the storms and problems of life, and enjoy  more fully  the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life we concentrate on the positive. I  am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we halt the sounds of insult and  sarcasm, that we more generously compliment virtue and effort. I am not asking that all  criticism be silenced. Growth comes of correction. Strength comes of repentance. Wise is  the man who can acknowledge mistakes pointed out by others and change his course of  action.

What I am suggesting is that each of us turn from the negativism that spreads through our  society and look for the remarkable good among those with whom we associate, that we   speak of one another’s virtues more than we speak of one another’s faults, that optimism   replace pessimism, that our faith exceed our fears. When I was a young man and was   inclined to speak critically of people or events, my father would say: 'Pessimists do not   contribute, unbelievers do not create,  doubters do not achieve.'" (Find the full talk HERE.)

Found HERE

3. Complaining 

Ok, so I admit, complaining is in my extroverted nature.  It just comes naturally.  This does not mean that I have no control over the complaints that seem to spill out of my mouth.  It does mean that I have to work harder to keep complaints in check. 

I will say that I truly believe there is a difference between venting, working through negative emotions and situations by talking about it, and just complaining.  We need to be able to voice our emotions in a healthy way.  Emotions not dealt with tend to show up over and over again in so many different areas of our lives.  Stuffing them deep down inside is destructive.  So, we do need to find healthy, CONSTRUCTIVE ways to deal with negative emotions.

The difference between constructive, healthy release of emotion and plain old complaining to me is this:  one leads to solutions; the other leads no where.  The difference is where you set up camp.  Do you set up camp in the Cavern of Complaint, where the darkness creeps in and all  you can see are your problems and yourself as a victim?  Or do you set up camp on Solution Slope, where you are working to overcome your problems and seeking to be proactive and empowered?  Here you are climbing to higher planes.  You may rest a bit, cry a bit, have a tantrum or two, but you don't stay there.  You keep moving up; you find solutions; you get out of victim mode!   

So, there you have it folks.  The 3 C's to avoid.  May the Lord help us with our Three C Elimination Diet!  We will lose the weight of some depression, self-depreciation, and negativism.  We will gain positive relationship muscles that will improve our relationships with others, ourselves, and God.

May God continually bless you on your personal journey!

Much love, as always!🎔

Heather