The Struggle is Real

I'm struggling...you heard me right...I'm down right STRUGGLING!  I'm working on the order of the house.  I'm trying to involve the kids.  But, seriously, sometimes it is easier to check out and not deal with things.  That's what I've done in the past...to a certain extent.  Now, I'm ready to check in.  I'm ready to deal with things.  And...it. is. HARD!  There are reasons that I checked out in certain areas of my life.  I need to choose the harder right over the easier wrong.  It's going to take strength beyond my own.
 
After all my hard work, a load of laundry is ruined (stupid purple glittler crayon), a half bottle of glass cleaner is spilled on the carpet ("I'm so sorry, Mom.  I won't do it again!"), dirty dishes cover the kitchen counters, and I feel defeated.  I feel frustrated.  I'm also trying to talk nicely, so instead of blowing up and yelling at the kids, I lock myself in my bedroom and cry.  A note gets passed through the crack in the locked door.

Translation:  "Mom, I'm sorry what I did."

Talk about break my heart!  What am I doing to my kids?  I open the door, give my sweet kid a hug and try to explain that Mommy's frustration is Mommy's frustration.  It's not because of her.  She doesn't have to own it, and she doesn't have to make it better.  That's not a six year old's job!  It is my job!  

Even though I feel weak (because I am), I also feel grateful to be able to release negative build up.  I've been praying to be able to change.  The change comes about line upon line.  It's little by little.  I also recognize that when we are on the brink of positive change, all heck seems to break loose.  This is not the time to give up.  It's like transition when you're having a baby...hahaha!  The hardest part is right before the miracle!  It means you're on the downhill slide!  You've heard about the calm before the storm?  Well, this is the storm before the calm.  So, I will hang in there.  I'll wait it out.  I won't give up at the first sign of struggle.  I will safely and in a healthy way release the guilt, shame, frustration, sadness, and other feelings that have kept me from being successful in this particular area.  I will hold on, and I will be grateful for the chance to work through emotions that are blocking my path to success.  And, I don't have to do it alone!

I have a wonderful support system....my family, my awesome friends, my wonderful kids, my husband (thank you!).  I also have the best foundation and the best support that anyone could find anywhere.  I have someone that can help me change.  I have someone that loves me unconditionally.  I have someone that can help my weakness become strength.  I have the Savior.  He atoned for me!  Through Him, I have the strength to put one foot in front of the other.  I have courage to try new things and face new changes.  It won't be perfect, but the Atonement happened!!!  So, I CAN DO HARD THINGS!  I might cry about it. haha.  But, it still counts.  I will fail not to continue!

Found HERE 

Much love to all who may struggle sometimes!

Heather

A Great Question to Ask Yourself: Why?

As posted earlier, I'm working on my year of "ORDER."  This partly applies to my home, but  I'm working toward peaceful order in all areas.  Not perfectionist, Hitler-like order, but God-like order:  the kind that invites the Spirit and allows for mistakes and growth.

Often, when I have tried to "attack" the house, I have felt overwhelmed and frustrated.  Blaming statements start rumbling in my brain and spilling out my mouth.  Cleaning and organizing seemed like a punishment for not doing enough, not being enough, for letting things pile up, for not being a good mom and teaching my children to *happily* do chores (that's a joke, haha).  Not to mention the GUILT.  I felt guilty for all these things.  I felt guilty for not feeling well enough to do the things I wanted.  Needless to say, in the past it has not been a pleasant emotional experience for me, so on many levels, I chose not to deal with it.

 Sometimes, I watch Hoarders, understanding the emotional/mental illness that is the foundation of the problem.  It makes me feel a little better about my situation.  I feel badly that people live like that, but I feel grateful that the situation has not gotten that bad here!  In that show, it is very evident that the "stuff" in the houses is not just about the "stuff," it is always about emotion! That's what makes it so hard to break through the barriers that stand in our way.  The show also helps to motivate me to keep it from getting that bad!  Please tell me I'm not the only one who relates!

Well, this time I'm doing things differently.  I'm striving to come from a place of love and gratitude for my family and my home. A place of respect and empowerment. I'm trying to learn how to implement structure and routine that serve us, not us living to serve the structure and routine.  I'm searching for the balance between structure and movement.  I'm trying to be kind to myself and those around me.  I'm celebrating each small step with a "woo hoo" and a little dance in my newly cleaned bathroom (that's a big deal y'all)!  And. it. feels. GREAT!  So, let me tell you, I am motivated to keep going!  It no longer feels like punishment; it feels like accomplishment!

One question has helped me thus far in this process.  This question is:  Why?  Why is the counter a gathering place for all sorts of paper mess?  Then, I try to observe and listen instead of just turning off and running away (like I used to).  The answer?  It's inconvenient to file the papers because the filing cabinet is in disarray.  Thus, I avoid filing the papers.  So, what can I do to make it more convenient? Not everything has to be convenient, but we are more likely to do things that are!  So, why not make it easier???  At some point in the near future, I will be tackling the filing system so that it serves me and my family better!

Instead of punishing, try to listen and work through blockages that present themselves.  What a wonderful way to learn and grow!  Often, it is hard to find the answers.  So many times it's subconscious.  We hardly know why we are reacting the way we are.  We have spent so much time stuffing and running away from any emotion that we may label "negative" that we have become out of touch with ourselves!  What a disservice!

So, ask yourself why?  Why am I having a hard time feeling close to my husband?  Why do I have a hard time tackling the bathroom?  Why am I snapping at my children over small things?  Why am I avoiding seeing a certain person?  Why am I not going after such and such a dream? Be open to what shows up.  Don't run away from the answers.

LISTEN.  OBSERVE.  PRAY for the answers and for understanding. Do not blame.  Do not judge.  Accept what is.

Next, realize that YOU HAVE CHOICES!  We ALWAYS have CHOICES!!  I am not a victim of my own mess, People!  (No matter how many times I have felt that way.)  This gives you EMPOWERMENT and helps you find SOLUTIONS to underlying problems, not just temporary band-aids for symptoms.  Pray for answers!  Pray to know what specific actions to take.  Pray to recognize answers when they come.  Remember it takes time, but we can change and improve our homes, our testimonies, our relationships, our lives "line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little there a little..."

You got this!!!  Just ask

*Note:  This is not talking about that other why question that gets us trapped in nowhere land: WHY ME???  That doesn't get us anywhere.  This is looking at the root problem, why things are the way they are and what we can do about it!*


Much Love 🖒
Heather

  

Do What You Enjoy, and Enjoy What You Do!

When was the last time that you did something JUST for the ENJOYMENT of doing it?  Not because you had to or you "should."    Not because it was on your mile-long list of to-do's.  Not because it was your responsibility or your duty.  Not because you would get X,Y, & Z benefits. Not because someone else wanted you to do it or someone would be disappointed if you didn't.  When did you do something that YOU enjoy, just because you enjoy it???

I think we miss out on so much of the beauty of life when the "have-to's,"  "need-to's," and "shoulds" take over our lives and crowd out the joy of living.  I'm not saying to throw all responsibility up in the air and suddenly do what you want, when you want, just because you want to.  Let's keep the balance in life here.  😁

Too often, the very essence of who we are is lost in everyone around us.  At one point, I didn't even know what I enjoyed doing!  We sometimes lose the spark that ignites the joyful flame of living.  It's time to get that anticipation, fun, joy, and enjoyment back!  It's time to do something that you enjoy doing just because you enjoy it!

So, that is PART ONE of this blog post.  Do what you enjoy!  Pick at least one thing that you enjoy each day and DO it!  Even if there are a ton of less-pressing to-do's on your list.  It doesn't have to take a lot of time or commitment.  Just make a conscious choice to do something that you enjoy, and then DON'T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT!  Actually enjoy it!  It could be a walk outside because you love the outdoors.  It could be making that new recipe that you've really wanted to try, but isn't super practical.  It might be buying yourself a new pair of pants (if you can afford it).  Maybe you will visit with a friend or read a good book.  Maybe you will sing at the top of your lungs.  Maybe you will dance down the aisles in the grocery store because one of your favorite song comes on.  You might join a local sports league.

I think that you will find that you have things to look forward to. You may even be more productive in doing other things because you took time for you.  It is refreshing!  Also, you might be more fun to be around! 😉

PART TWO of this blog post is to ENJOY what you do.  There are many tasks that need to be done in a day.  There are things that are within our stewardship that we are responsible for.  For example, your kids need to be fed.  There have been so many times that I wished that my children could just forage and survive on what they could find, but that isn't the way things are.  You actually have to feed your children.  And, not just once a day!  They need to eat three meals and usually snacks in between.  Then, with each of those meals there are more dishes (the NEVER-ENDING story).  Not to mention, you need to do laundry (also never-ending) at least every once in a while. You get the picture!  Now, what can you do to make these things more enjoyable for you?  How can you switch your perspective and add an element of fun?

I really thought about this concept several years ago.  I was being set apart for a new calling. The wise Bishop in my ward was giving the blessing.  He blessed me that I would enjoy the duties of being a mother.  How inspired he was.  I was missing out on enjoying those duties!  I was in survival, self-pity, "I'm just glad that I got dressed today" mode.  How could I enjoy the things that I needed to do anyway?  Either way it had to get done!  I could do it grudgingly and grumpily, or I could do it with a good attitude.  The choice really is mine!

That's when I really got thinking about "Do what you enjoy, and enjoy what you do."  I don't even know where I heard that phrase from first, but it is so true.  I find doing dishes very mundane.  I don't find it fulfilling.  I just don't feel like I was put on this Earth to clean (although it obviously has its place).  But, I am a social person, so what do I do when I'm doing the dishes?  I call a friend!  (Yes, I'm a talker!)  Then the dishes seem to fly by as I'm engaged in meaningful conversation.  Sometimes, I put music on and dance around while I do my chores.  We could make a fun game of it.  (I'm not suggesting that everything you do needs to be "fun" or "fluffy.")  Maybe you could listen to books on CD or on whatever device you might have.  What you choose to do will be based on your personality and what helps you enjoy your tasks.

To recap:  I challenge you (and me) to: (1) Do at least one thing you enjoy a day.  (2)  Find specific ways to help you enjoy what you need to do.

If you take on this challenge, let me know what you enjoy doing!  Also, let me know how you've made things on your to-do list more enjoyable (I'm always looking for good ideas). Share in the comments or on Facebook!

I found this picture HERE!  

Best of luck!

Much LOVE!

Heather

Killer At-Home Workout!

Hi, Friends!
Is life is treating you well?  I hope so!  Today I tried a killer total-body workout.  All I had to have was stairs (luckily, my house comes equipped with them).

Variety is the spice of life.  This is true when exercising.  Variety keeps me motivated and keeps me out of the "I'm so BORED!" trap.  It also helps me to work and tone different parts of my body.

This workout is found on "Six Sister's Stuff" on Facebook.  Thanks to my friend for sharing it!  Click Here to see the video!

Here's the workout!
Walk (or jog) up and down the stairs - 5 times
Alternating toe taps - 20 each toe
Side squats - 20 each side
Skip a step - up and down stairs 2 times
Split squats - 10 each leg
Stair climbers - 20 each leg
Calf raises - 30 total
Jump up the stairs - 2 times (Seriously try not to fall down the stairs!  It helps to get a rythm going.)
Triceps dips - 15 total
Repeat the entire circuit 3 times for a killer workout!

I added 15 inclined push-ups after the triceps dips.  Then repeated 3 times!  After the first time through I was like, "Seriously?  I have to do this 2 MORE TIMES?!"  But, I completed it, and that feels AMAZING and EMPOWERING!  We won't talk about how sore I'm going to be tomorrow...😉

One word of caution, I did feel that this workout was pretty hard on the knees.  So, it might not be for you if you have knee problems!

Happy Exercising!

Much Love 🏋
Heather

How Far Will You Go?

I rarely get to go to the movies, but I had a chance to go with my daughter on a date to the movie "Moana."  It might sound funny, but this movie spoke to my heart.  Every once in a while I'm granted just a little glimpse of who I truly am.  I catch a glimpse of my purpose and the grander vision!


I love this song!  What calls to you?  How far will you go to become the person that you can become? What limits (self-inflicted and limits set by others) will you smash into a million pieces?  Do you have the courage to go after your true, divine purpose and potential?


Honestly, sometimes I lack the courage to do and become what I feel in my heart that I truly can do and become.  I let fear seep in and suck out the joy.  I let worry crowd out the clarity.    But, I keep moving forward.  With each barrier eliminated, I celebrate.  I work with God to know what it is that He would have me to do.  I ask Him what my mission in life is. And, I work towards it.  Sometimes I stumble, but I try to "fail not to continue."


Let us have COURAGE!  Let us follow what we know we are meant to be, not what society tells us we are.  Let us see the greater picture and play well our part on the stage of life.  Let us listen to the still, small voice that calls to us and leads us to unknown destinations.  Let us have faith to go forth and grasp all the Lord has in store for us!  Follow the voice that calls to you, that speaks to the DIVINE within you, and who knows how far you'll go!!


Much Love <3

Heather

Patterns Pulled from a Prophet

lds.org

I have (arguably) the BEST. CALLING. EVER!!  I am a Relief Society Teacher.  I get to do in-depth studies of lessons and then share what I learn...not to mention I only have to teach ONCE a month.  What?!  Maybe I shouldn't let the cat out of the bag.  People will be lined up to get this calling.

Anyway, I taught lesson one in Teaching of Presidents of the Church: Gordon B. Hinckley. (Am I the only one that is excited to study President Hinckley's words this year?!?)  The lesson was on the Restoration of the church.  As I pondered this lesson, I thought about patterns.  We had previously talked about patterns in Relief Society.  What patterns can you see and apply in your own life?  By applying these patterns we really are allowing doctrine to change our lives.  

There are so many of God's patterns shown to us through the First Vision and the Restoration!  I want to share just a few .

God's Will, God's Timing, God's Way

This idea has been huge in my life!  I want to do things in my life according to God's will, according to His timing, and in His way.  Joseph Smith wasn't allowed to receive the Golden Plates until he was truly ready.  Heavenly Father truly had a grand timeline of events that led up to the Restoration.  The key components of this timeline happened according to God's will, God's timing, and in God's way.  

"Line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little..."  (D&C 128:21)

The Restoration did not come about in one huge whammy.  It came little by little over the course of many, many years...that was AFTER all the preparatory events that had to happen BEFORE the Restoration could take place (ie reformation, printing press, pilgrims traveling to America, Revolutionary War, Constitution, etc.).  This obviously did not happen over night. 

Sometimes we just want the answer to our problems in one package with a tidy bow on top.  Heavenly Father allows us to receive what we are ready for, when we are ready!  He has a timeline for our lives. Often answers and knowledge, learning and growth happen "line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little..."

Ask and Receive

Joseph Smith had a question.  He lacked wisdom.  He studied.  He asked God.  He received an answer.  That's a pretty clear pattern!  Most likely our answers won't be answered by Heavenly visitation (although I'm definitely not ruling it out).  But, they WILL be answered in (you got it) His time, His way, and according to His will.

God Fulfills His Promises

The events of the Restoration were foreseen by prophets of old.  Nephi saw many of the events  600 or so years before Christ was even born!  God fulfilled what He said He would fulfill.  Things happened even as He said they would.  This means that we can FULLY TRUST the Lord knowing that He will keep the promises and covenants that He has made to us.

Pattern of Preparation

God prepared the world for the Restoration.  He prepared Joseph Smith for the Restoration.  He prepares me to be able to fulfill my mission here on Earth.   The events that happen in our lives prepare us to become what the Lord wants us to become.  When we stay close to the Lord, we have what we need when we need it.  We can trust in His grand plan for all the people on Earth, and I can trust in His individual plan for me.   

What patterns can you glean from the First Vision and the Restoration?  How can you apply them in your daily lives?  What blessings have you received because a fourteen year old boy went into a grove of trees to pray and was visited by a loving Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ?  This event "changed the world. Let it change your life."

Much Love!
Heather

Found It! Youtube Dance Cardio Workout

Quick post today!
I just wanted to share that I FINALLY found a full-length cardio dance workout (like Zumba) that I like 😄!  I've been on the search for a while now.  I have found lots of videos of individual songs, but having to click on them separately and wait for ads...too much work!  So, when I found a full length work out that I actually like, I had to share!

Click here to see the video.

Happy Dancing!
Much Love!
Heather

The Non-New-Year's-Resolutions Resolution

Five years ago, I got sick of New Year's Resolutions.  So much pressure!  So much failure associated with them in my past!  So MANY things to work on!  Not enough energy!  Not enough time!  Not enough of me!  With small kids (and very little sleep), I was already overwhelmed and in SURVIVAL mode.  I hardly had time to shower or sit down and eat a meal, let alone add more to my plate.  All New Year's Resolutions were doing to me was leaving me feeling even more like I was not enough and that I never would be enough.  My view on goals and resolutions has since changed (mainly as I've gotten more sleep...amazing what that stuff does for you! 😉).  But, maybe that is for another blog post.  

Ever since that year, instead of having a ton of goals and things to do, my Non-New-Year's- Resolutions Resolution was to pick a word that I would like to expand in my life and then see where it takes me. It's a word that I would like to have become part of me.  A word that could help me become a better person without first having to feel like less of a person.  The word each year is picked through prayer and meditation, trying to follow the will of God.  And it has been LIFE. CHANGING.

It always amazes me how clearly the word comes to me.  I love how God leads us if we let Him.  Once Heavenly Father lets me know what my word for the year is, I study it, I focus on it, I try to incorporate it into my life.  Sometimes that calls for setting actual goals.  Last year, it was about setting goals...and I experienced SUCCESS and EMPOWERMENT!  "Oh, how great the plan of my God!"  

This does not mean that it is easy.  It does not mean that after the year I have perfectly incorporated these words into my life.  I have to revisit them over and over and over again.  But, it does mean that I receive increased awareness, opportunities to work through blockages, and  increased knowledge and power to change my life.

So, here are the words that I've been inspired to explore and implement thus far:

Year 1: PEACE

Year 2: BALANCE

Year 3: JOY

Year 4: FAITH

Year 5: POSITIVE CHANGE

Oh, how I could write posts and posts about each of these words (and maybe I will...lol).  I love these words.  I love the power that they hold and that they unleash in your life as you peel back layer by layer and incorporate them little by little.  

This year, my word came to me about a month ago.  I have been a little intimidated by this word and what it will mean in my life.  I have yet to explore what it means in different areas of my life.  

Here's the thing, when you pick something to focus on, things show up, almost magically (although we know it is by the power of God).  That first year when I chose to work on peace, everything in my life that I did not feel peaceful about seemed to show up to be worked on.  At first I thought, "Well, I already failed at that!  I DO NOT feel PEACEFUL!"  Then, I saw the opportunities.  And let me tell you, the answer to finding peace does not  include "fixing" everything that is causing unrest; it is finding peace amidst the storm; it's finding peace even when and especially when you can't change things.  It's finding peace in Christ.  

So, it will be super interesting to see what this year has in store for me.  My word for Year 6 is....drum roll, please...ORDER!  

lds.org

It's seriously blowing my MIND what different spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional implications this word might have.  I'm excited to delve in!  I'm excited to see!!  I'm excited for positive change (from last year) to go forward and include ORDER!  

I do know that I am going to start here...in my kitchen.  I'm laying it all out on the kitchen table, folks (pun intended).  I'm willing to be vulnerable and a little scared and imperfect to be able to invite in the good.  So, I'm showing you just how real this is.  I'm showing you a BEFORE picture without a successful AFTER picture (yet).  I'm really committed now!!

My kitchen...today...as is...yikes

I must note that worth does not come from a clean kitchen...so there will be days even after my "After" picture that I have a messy kitchen...I guarantee it!  We actually live in our house (gasp!).  I'm talking about heading in a good direction because I want to, not because I have to to be somebody!    Wish me luck on my journey!  I'm sure my year of ORDER has more spiritual implications than just an orderly house.  Let me know what "order" means to you.  If you can't comment here, comment on my facebook page!  I'm ready to learn!  Also, let me know if you have a word that you would like to work on!!!  Good luck to us all 😊

Much Love! 🎉

Heather